For the past couple of nights I have been having dreams of Kaitlyn -- it has been in the same setting -- a summer camp. She was SO happy. She was swimming, hanging with her friends (it is funny because the only ones I recognized were Wesley and Stephen Cage but there were lots of kids there) -- they were just having a great time. She would talk to me but it was always from across the "park". She told me that she knew we wanted her home but that they were VERY HAPPY there and that we should be happy for them. She would then go with her friends and turn and wave goodbye -- I would wake up at that moment,
Then last night something changed She came to me and I was able to hug her -- really hug her -- I swear I smelled her perfume and I FELT her in my arms - it was so amazing. She whispered in my ear that she loved me and that I would be OK. I didn't want to let go but she told me I had to let her go -- she walked across the park turned and waved goodbye -- then I woke up.
It was so hard to wake up and realize that this was a dream -- IT WAS SO REAL.
I want this to stop -- I want to wake up and realize that the dream is that she died -- that she is still here -- is that really too much to ask????
My new normal still sucks
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5 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss... I wish you could just wake up and have your daughter back. I think you are so brave and strong to share her story in the hopes of saving others. ((hug))
Wishing you {{big hugs}}! I am so sorry for you loss!
Thank you for sharing her story and helping others!
Maizie @ 2Peas
Wow, your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Kaitlyn. Big hugs to you.
Sue from 2 peas
I am sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you...
Damn, Cheri, I'm so sorry it's not a dream you can wake up from. Someday I hope your new normal isn't so painful.... hugs, my friend.
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